Patterns and Systems

Floating a few hundred yards out at sea on a glassed chunk of foam, it’s easier to come to terms with your place in the world. There is an ironically grounding clarity that comes with the salt water and it reminds me of my size in the scale of this earth and that of the universe. It’s not necessarily a feeling of insignificance, but rather a humbling reminder of my connection to beings, living and non-living, human and non-human, all brought together by the infinite hydrogen bonds that wrap around the planet in an aquatic blanket. 

Some may credit this realization to the dissolved vail of land lived life– where work, chores, and errands dance with the ever-encroaching apocalypse, each fighting for morsels of attention. I think there is something more. I think that the ocean is more than a distraction. I think we learn and relearn what it means to be a part of a system while out in the water. Not a system like capitalism, where we categorize and leverage humans for their perceived “worth.” Not a system of oppression where we rely on the downfall of others in order to lift up ourselves. 

The system that I’m talking about here is more obvious, but less acknowledged– more powerful, but less respected. We learn from the ocean that it is impossible to separate the individual from the whole and that actions ripple outwards from a single point, with far greater effects than previously anticipated. 

Surfers are so deeply in tune with the climate, water, weather, and natural world around them. Similar, yet not even comparable, to the environmental knowledge possessed by native people everywhere, surfers pick out natural patterns and rely on the first-hand knowledge that comes with experiencing a place over and over again to predict waves, swells, and winds. We understand the way that systems work to make the elements come together to make the session exactly what it is. 

In the water, our size is obvious. We are powerless in the best way possible. We accept the waves that are given to us and are always, always thankful for them. We are a piece, rather than the whole. 

When we look at our world as a system, rather than an object, we can begin to shift our perspective on what it means to live a meaningful life. Is it really our job to suck the most out of our relationships? Society? This Earth? Perhaps we are here to love and learn from each other. Maybe we are supposed to create a society where we strive for comfort and understanding. This Earth may not simply be a tool, but a cradle to hold all life– a home. 

Yesterday there was ash on the leaves outside my window and the sky looked like it had just rolled around in the dirt. These patterns are irresponsible to ignore, and to deny our place in this system is more than naive, it’s cowardly. It’s been a lifetime of living with “new normals” and compromises. But with each passing day, the planet slips deeper into the irreversible hole that is climate change. We can kick plastics, stop eating meat, and shop locally. And maybe things won’t change, but we have to try. This world was not built for me. It was not built for anyone.

That evening I paddled out to Ocean Beach. The fog was so dense that I could cut it. From the lineup you could not see the shore, let alone the horizon. In this clouded state I picked wind swell peaks at random, doing laps on my faithful, yellow board. It was a dreamlike session and by the time I touched back down on the beach, I was confused and uncentered. From my parked car I listened to the static of unidentifiable waves crack in two and roll towards land. 

These waves came from wind which came from the heat of the central valley, sucking air across the sea to fill the inland vacuum. Along with the wind and waves, came the faithful fog, protecting me and the people of the bay area, from the dense smoke sitting just above it. In the water there was me. A child of two humans, the children of four more. All pieces coming together in a handful of soft rides. 

If I’ve been disorganized in this post, it is because I’m feeling disorganized inside. It can be so hopeless to understand your own size in this planetary and universal system. It can also be hopeful. Each moment is the culmination of luck and intention. And there is no better example of this than riding the energy of a wave through water. An individual within a system, who shapes who?